SINGAPORE: Before making a phone call, 26-year-old Nivani Elangovan would prepare herself by mentally mapping out what could happen during the tele-conversation and jotting down pointers on post-it notes for reference.
Typing a phone number into her seldom-used call app on her handphone is an anxiety-inducing task, let alone having to hold a conversation.
“I hate phone calls ... because I’m a lot more anxious about things that are uncertain. I like having structure and being as prepared as I can,” she told TODAY over the phone.
“Over email or text messages, at least it's in writing and I have time to think about how to reply and what I want to say. When over the phone, there’s so much uncertainty about what could play out.
“Even if I do have to make a phone call, I will take a post-it note and write down all the different points I need to cover during my phone call,” Ms Elangovan said.
Why put herself through such a hassle when phone calls used to be a simple dial-and-talk affair?
The fresh graduate from Nanyang Technological University said she fears coming off as unprepared or confused when taking a call.
The post-it notes help settle her nerves, Ms Elangovan said, citing a recent call with a hirer for a potential job as an example.
“I had a lot of information about the job but none of it (written down) in black and white,” she said.
“So when I was calling them back to clarify details - such as the job interview and pay package - my post-it notes helped me as I was just checking things off … (ensuring) I covered everything.”
Ms Elangovan’s case of “phone anxiety” is not uncommon among digital natives who have grown up amid computers and the internet.
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In Australia, a survey last year of more than 1,000 Gen Zers aged 18 to 26 found that only one in 10 prefer to talk to family and friends via a phone call.
About 49 per cent said speaking over the phone made them anxious, while six in 10 dreaded making or accepting a phone call, according to the survey conducted by Australia’s telecommunications company More Telecom in May 2023.
Another survey by European telecommunications provider Sky Mobile of 1,000 youths aged 18 to 24 in October 2023 also found that a quarter of them actively ignored phone calls, while more than half, or 57 per cent, admitted to ignoring their parents' phone calls.
This texting preference by Gen Z is not a recent phenomenon; their millennial counterparts - those aged between 27 and 42 - have been doing so as early as 2009, sociologists told TODAY.
According to a survey by the Washington-based Pew Research Centre released in 2012, the typical American teen aged 12 to 17 was sending and receiving 60 messages in 2011, up from 50 in 2009.
The same survey found that 26 per cent of American teens were calling their friends in 2011 using their handphones, down from 38 per cent in 2009.
The texting preference by Gen Z is not a recent phenomenon; their millennial counterparts - those aged between 27 and 42 - have been doing so as early as 2009, sociologists told TODAY. (Photo: TODAY/Nuria Ling)
In Singapore, 12 youths aged 35 and under told TODAY that texting is the main mode of communication for them, even though three of them still prefer calling.
While advocates of texting cite the convenience of replying anywhere and anytime, and having the time to think of a reply as among the benefits, TODAY’s interviews with those in their 40s and 50s point to a generational split on the issue.
“Texting on the computer is fine since the screen is bigger and it's easier to read. But on the phone with the small keyboard, it can be quite difficult,” said Ms Angie Neo, 59, an administrative executive with a real estate firm.
“Calling is just more straightforward since you just say what you need and get the message across,” she added.
Still, Ms Neo and several older interviewees told TODAY that they are adapting to the change in communication habits by texting their children and younger colleagues more.
Sociologists also pointed out that texting is not all positive as it could possibly impact communication skills due to the lack of certain social cues like a person’s expression and the tone of their voice.
With texting likely to remain the main form of communication for zoomers and millennials in the near future, TODAY looks at the impact it will have on the way people interact with each other both at home and in the workplace.
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"TTYL? WHAT’S THAT?"
Like many of her generation these days, the first thing Ms Elangovan does when she wakes up is to check her mobile phone for texts sent overnight.
Without leaving the comfort of her bed, she scans through each notification or message on her phone apps - Telegram, WhatsApp, Instagram followed by Discord - to see if she has missed anything important.
“I don’t always reply immediately unless it's something urgent, perhaps a friend asking for help,” Ms Elangovan said.
For 43-year-old Mariasusai Maria Sophia, her two children’s habit of texting before getting out of bed often triggers a lengthy nagging from her on a daily basis.
“I always tell them to at least wash up first, get out of bed before continuing whatever you want to do,” said the manager at a construction and engineering firm.
Her two children, aged 18 and 20, are often on their phones texting. Even with her, they prefer to text even though Ms Sophia has made it clear that she would rather have a phone call from them.
“I really don’t know what is in their mind, (and) why this generation only text and text. They’re just not socialising as much,” she lamented.
“Maybe I’m too old school and traditional, but when you talk over the phone, there’s a connection while texting is just monotonous.”
Despite her reservations, Ms Sophia and several others in their 40s and 50s told TODAY that they have learnt to adapt to the younger generations’ growing reliance on messaging applications such as WhatsApp.
Even as older individuals acknowledge that texting does have its uses, such as having a written message to refer to, the way they text or respond to texting can sometimes raise eyebrows, or even cause frustration, among the younger ones.
Receiving images of “good morning” is the norm for Mr Javier Koh, 23, a Singapore Management University (SMU) business undergraduate, as his mother sends different pictures each day.
Although he and his two siblings find such images annoying, Mr Koh has accepted it as a “boomer” thing, and tries to see the pictures as an expression of his mother’s love for them.
“I always wonder where and how she gets different pictures each day,” he joked.
When Mr Koh sends a message to his parents, the way he writes them also differs from the ones he sends to friends. There are fewer vulgarities, emojis, jokes and most importantly - no abbreviations.
“If I use one, they’ll ask what it means. Like ‘TTYL’ which stands for ‘talk to you later’,” he said.
“It’s more troublesome to explain since these abbreviations are meant to help us type faster. I'd rather just spell it out from the start.”
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The “blue tick” - a feature on WhatsApp that signals if the receiver has seen a message sent to them - also means different things for recipients of different ages, which can result in some unhappiness.
For youths, sending a message and getting a signal through two blue ticks indicates that it has been read by the recipient. Thus, for them, a non-response is a rude sign, indicating that they are being ignored.
To avoid unnecessary drama, some opt to turn off the blue-tick function on their messaging apps. Others like Mr Koh just read their notifications but do not click into their messaging app.
“Or if I really don’t have time to reply to the message, I’ll at least react with an emoji as a form of acknowledgement because as someone who has been ‘blue tick-ed’ (ignored), it’s not a nice feeling to be left hanging,” Mr Koh said.
But for some older text recipients, the blue tick is simply an acknowledgement that the message has been read.
“Honestly, there isn’t a need to reply. As long as they see the message, it’s good enough for me,” said Ms Sophia.
Mr Edwin Yeo, general manager of public relationship firm SPRG Singapore said that youth's preference for texting can have its downsides.
“Youths have a fear of rejection that when they call someone, they might ignore or hang up on them,” he said.
“However, calls can be more convenient when brainstorming and making clarifications ... without misunderstanding as you can hear their tone of voice, unlike text.”
THE NUANCES OF TEXTING FRIENDS
For many young ones, their preference for texting boils down to one word - convenience. One can text while out and about, lazing at home, or even in class. And sending a message to a friend or family member takes mere seconds.
But add all those seconds together, and many youths admit that they actually spend hours a day glued to their messaging apps.
“You can reply anywhere, anytime. Your phone is with you all the time,” said 23-year-old SMU business undergraduate Loy Ming Hao.
Like other youths, he noted that messaging applications also have unique features that make communication more engaging, such as “video bubbles” which allow youths to send short videos of themselves.
Even among youngsters who prefer phone calls, texting is still the primary means of communicating.
Eighteen-year-old Shayna Choo said she spends roughly two hours weekly calling her boyfriend, but at least eight hours texting her friends during a typical week.
“It’s much easier to catch up with them over call, and you feel closer when you hear their voice,” said the second-year business student at Ngee Ann Polytechnic (NP).
“But honestly, I text much more than I call (my friends) because my close friends and I have our own lives and it’s hard to find a common time.
“It’s also weird to call people I’m not close to like an acquaintance ... The conversation might get awkward since there’s not much we can talk about.”
Like other youths, Ms Choo’s calls are reserved for close friends and family members. And if she were to call, these are often scheduled unless it is for something she considers urgent.
If the call is not scheduled, youths told TODAY that they think twice before picking up.
“If it’s a close friend, I would worry about what's going on and pick up the call (assuming) it’s something urgent. If it's someone I’m not close to, I’ll question why before picking up or might text back asking why they are calling,” said Ms Tay Xiu Qin, 18, a second-year banking and finance student at NP.
“But if it’s a number I don’t recognise, I assume it’s a scammer and don’t answer at all.”
There are also spaces where talking on the phone would be inappropriate, such as on public transport.
Mr Koh, the SMU student, pointed out that calling someone would disturb the peace and might elicit stares from other commuters.
“If I’m on the train, it's also too noisy sometimes and the other person on the line cannot hear me. I also don’t want to talk about something personal like what I’m doing that day while other passengers can hear and might eavesdrop,” he said.
Instead, Mr Koh would hang up and immediately text the person that he was unable to speak over the phone.
Youths told TODAY that certain nuances like emojis can determine the seriousness of a text. (Photo: TODAY/Raj Nadarajan)
When it comes to texting friends and family in social settings, the youths told TODAY that there are certain nuances that they are mindful of, too. It’s not just the “blue ticks” but the way they write their messages.
Emojis, for one, determine the seriousness of a text.
“For example, I’m going through a minor inconvenience so I text my friends ‘OMG this is killing me’ with several crying emojis. My parents might take the message literally if they receive it and worry about me, but my friends know my message is a light-hearted complaint and not me actually dying,” said Mr Koh.
For Ms Lee, a 20-year-old university student who declined to give her full name, the way people type out their laughter also signifies different things.
“If you say ‘haha’, you’re being passive-aggressive or sarcastic. But if you repeat ‘ha’ more than three times, you genuinely mean it,” she said.
Ms Elangovan added that if her friends change the way they type - such as adding a punctuation mark when they usually do not use it, writing in a proper sentence and sending a single long message instead of a series of texts - alarm bells ring in her head.
“To me, it signals maybe something isn’t right and they might be upset or are acting passive-aggressive towards me,” she said.
“It’s kind of like the tone of someone’s voice when you’re speaking to someone.”
MORE FORMAL LANGUAGE WHEN TEXTING FOR WORK
Just like with friends and family, youths also rely on text messages when chatting with their colleagues - especially with hybrid work arrangements becoming more common post-pandemic.
For 26-year-old Hilman, who declined to share his full name, text messages to fellow colleagues are not as formal as emails, as he uses the occasional emoji.
“It’s boring to always respond with a straight ‘noted, thanks’ right? Sometimes I use a thumbs-up emoji and reply with a ‘cool’,” said the engineer.
“But when it comes to more complicated things I have to relay to my colleagues, a call is honestly easier because we can just iron things out immediately. So although I prefer texting, it's (a phone call) just more convenient.”
While making a call may be more convenient in relaying urgent information at short notice, receiving such a call can be nerve-racking.
“After work, if I receive a call from someone above me, I hesitate to answer but have to,” said Mr Lionel Lim, 28, who works in the military.
“There’s a fear that I might be getting called back (to work). Or that something has gone wrong.”
While such messages would not sound any better in a text, Mr Lim said hearing the phone ring sends shivers down his spine.
As for Ms Lee, the university student, having instructions over text not only spares her the anxiety of having to speak to a boss, but also removes any possible misunderstanding that could result from a call.
“Once, my boss gave me instructions over the phone, and later scolded me by claiming that he did not give me the instructions,” she recalled of her part-time job at a food and beverage outlet. “If it was over text, at least it would have been in black and white.”
Even if she may use an emoji or two when communicating with her colleagues and employer, Ms Lee admitted that her texting style is different when it comes to friends.
Describing work-related texts as “more formal”, Ms Lee avoids abbreviations and would give her message a second read to fix any grammatical errors before sending it out.
Just like with friends and family, youths also rely on text messages when chatting with their colleagues - especially with hybrid work arrangements becoming more common post-pandemic. (Photo: TODAY/Ili Nadhirah Mansor)
SHOULD TEXTING BE THE WORKPLACE NORM?
For Ms Neo, the administrative executive, her WhatsApp application on her work computer takes up half the screen, rather than her email.
“I may be working in the office, but some of my younger colleagues will text me instead of just coming up to my desk and asking me in person,” she said.
“I sometimes wonder why they don’t want to walk over even though we aren’t that far away from each other.
“But to be honest, texting colleagues isn’t that bad. It’s easier to gossip since you don’t need to watch who might be overhearing your conversation,” she said, laughing.
Mr Yeo of SPRG Singapore said that although some of his younger employees are not keen on phone calls, texting can be counter-productive in the workplace.
“When we have group chats, sometimes people hesitate to reply and you have to prompt them one by one. But if we have an in-person meeting or one over video-conferencing, people are more open to speak,” said the 56-year-old.
“So when it comes to meetings and discussions, calls and in-person meetings are still the way to go.”
He has also found himself unintentionally inciting fear in his employees when he drops them a text message, as they often assume he is angry based on his text.
“All these social cues are lost like the tone of my voice. But I’m not angry, I’m just asking them something,” Mr Yeo said.
Ms Dione Ng, associate manager of Michael Page Singapore, said that the loss of nuance and tone leading to misunderstandings is one downside of texting in the workplace, alongside difficulty in building rapport and trust.
However, there are several benefits, such as a clearer record of communications, and the ability to focus on the task at hand before responding to messages. It also helps employees working remotely to communicate with one another.
As to whether it is appropriate to communicate via text at work, Ms Ng said it depends on the situation.
“The best approach is open communication. Letting colleagues know your preferred communication style and being open to theirs.
“Not everyone may be comfortable with certain technology, some older workers may miss the more formal communication styles of the past.”
Ms Ng added that there is a need to consider how appropriate certain messages, such as video or audio ones, are depending on the company culture or the nature of the message.
“Some workplaces have a more casual culture where video messages might be perfectly acceptable. Simple updates could also work in these formats, while complex topics are better suited for emails or video conferencing,” she said.
But Ms Ng cautioned that companies adapting to the growing reliance on texting should not be quick to abandon phone calls since the latter can help build rapport among colleagues and with external clients, allow for immediate clarification and conveying urgent messages, among other things.
TEXTING NOT "PROBLEMATIC"
Dr Carol Soon, principal research fellow from the Institute of Policy Studies, said Gen Z's preference for texting is “unsurprising” as several studies have shown that millennials have similar preferences.
Texting provides youths with more control over their schedules as they can communicate whenever they want, allowing them to multi-task and avoid small talk, she noted.
“This reason also accounts for why people from other generations are also veering to texting, with phone calls used for urgent communications or speaking with elderly members in the family,” said Dr Soon.
Texting provides youths with more control over their schedules as they can communicate whenever they want, allow them to multi-task and avoid small talk. (Photo: TODAY/Ili Nadhirah Mansor)
Dr Andrew Yee, an assistant professor at the Singapore University of Technology and Design, admitted that these are reasons why he prefers texting as well.
“In a phone call, it is often more demanding, as we need to pay full attention to the person on the other line and respond immediately. There is likely a lower sense of control over the communication process as we need to respond immediately,” said the sociologist.
“When we text, we can carefully craft what we want to convey and take our time to respond. As such, there is a greater sense of control. On various platforms like WhatsApp and Telegram, we can even edit and delete our messages.”
Such features are especially important for people who are introverted or socially anxious, he added.
Associate Professor Tan Ern Ser, a sociologist at the National University of Singapore, noted there are some negatives in texting. For one, youths’ reliance on texting might mean more misunderstandings as they lose social cues such as facial expressions, and possibly missing out on learning and practising social interaction skills.
“To me, another negative of only texting is when one misses an emergency call from someone who has no time to write a text, is incapable of texting - such as a senior who is neither literate nor able to use the text features of the smartphone - or have access to only a landline at home,” he said.
Dr Yee added that problems may also arise if conversation partners have different preferences for communication.
“For example, if my co-worker prefers speaking on the phone, they may find my texting or emailing very impersonal, which may lead to inefficiencies in communication,” he said.
Despite the pitfalls, Dr Yee said he does not view the new forms of communication as problematic.
Noting his nine-year-old son communicates with his similarly-aged best friend using their parents' phones solely via GIFs (graphics interchange format), Dr Yee said that there are different ways of communicating with each other, in which both parties “negotiate” and find common ground over time.
“As long as the purposes of communication, such as building relationships and conveying meaning, are satisfactorily achieved, I am not sure if we need to worry too much about it,” he said.
Dr Soon added: “There are pros and cons with every technology use, but behaviours and norms adapt as we go along.”
This article was originally published in TODAY.
